Showing posts from October, 2017

Reminder to Self and Reminder to You

Be brave. Do it scared. Refer to the sections “Scary, Scary, Scary” (page 12), “Defending Your Weakness” (page 16), “Fear Is Boring” (page 19), “The Fear You Need and the Fear You Don’t Need” (page 22), and “The Road Trip” (page 24) in Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert

I'm Scared

And I hope it’s just because we’re so close to the end. I’m so scared that something’s going to happen and that my dad will die. It feels so real right now because I’m on my period and took my anxiety medicine a couple hours late, I guess. It makes me more susceptible to my worries, not that these things making me feel this means that the feelings aren’t real—only that it’s easier to fall down the worry rabbit hole. My dad has stage four (“end” stage/most severe stage) diffuse large B-cell Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, a type of cancer that affects the immune system and the blood cells involved in the immune system. Despite the way stage four sounds, his prognosis is really good because of his age and health besides the cancer. All but probably one of his health problems (hypothyroidism) were due to cancer, so that doesn’t count toward health counting against him in his chances in beating the cancer if that makes sense. All the doctors he’s seen for the lymphoma have said he should be