Reminder to Self and Reminder to You

Be brave. Do it scared. Refer to the sections “Scary, Scary, Scary” (page 12), “Defending Your Weakness” (page 16), “Fear Is Boring” (page 19), “The Fear You Need and the Fear You Don’t Need” (page 22), and “The Road Trip” (page 24) in Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert

You’ve ever been in a happy depression?


Image by Tumisu from Pixabay

Let me explain. I’ve been feeling weird lately. I don’t know how else to describe it. If you ask me how I’m doing, I’m doing okay. Sometimes, I’m even doing well, but I have this background tiredness, and it affects some things. Not all things but some. The biggest thing I notice it affect is my will to feed myself. I know I need to eat, and I want to eat healthily, but I barely want to eat much less something I might not like, such as healthy food. In Louisiana (and from what I’m learning from viral memes, all over), food is a big part of our culture. Food isn’t just for sustenance. It’s for enjoyment. There’s an emotional aspect to eating, and for me, not having that positive emotional aspect to it, not being excited to eat whatever it is makes it really hard to eat it. And I don’t even feel hungry sometimes. I get tired or bored of eating after a few bites, and at that point, I really don’t feel hungry anymore. I probably need to have healthy snacks that I do like readily available, and I probably need to eat often more than I need to eat in large volumes. But then my problem is that the healthy food I do like (fruits and vegetables) has no calories. Eating healthy seems impossible. I know it’s not, but right now, it really feels impossible. What kind of weird depression is it when you do still have interest in things you normally have interest in and you feel pretty good emotionally (when you’re not in your head about what’s wrong with you or what do you have to do) but you don’t want to take care of yourself????


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