Let me explain. I’ve been feeling weird lately. I don’t know
how else to describe it. If you ask me how I’m doing, I’m doing okay.
Sometimes, I’m even doing well, but I have this background tiredness, and it
affects some things. Not all things but some. The biggest thing I notice it
affect is my will to feed myself. I know I need to eat, and I want to eat
healthily, but I barely want to eat much less something I might not like, such as
healthy food. In Louisiana (and from what I’m learning from viral memes, all
over), food is a big part of our culture. Food isn’t just for sustenance. It’s
for enjoyment. There’s an emotional aspect to eating, and for me, not having
that positive emotional aspect to it, not being excited to eat whatever it is
makes it really hard to eat it. And I don’t even feel hungry sometimes. I get
tired
or bored of eating after a few bites, and at that point, I really don’t feel
hungry anymore. I probably need to have healthy snacks that I do like readily
available, and I probably need to eat often more than I need to eat in large
volumes. But then my problem is that the healthy food I do like (fruits and
vegetables) has no calories. Eating healthy seems impossible. I know it’s not,
but right now, it really feels impossible. What kind of weird depression is it
when you do still have interest in things you normally have interest in and you
feel pretty good emotionally (when you’re not in your head about what’s wrong
with you or what do you
have to do) but you don’t want to take care of
yourself????
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