Reminder to Self and Reminder to You

Be brave. Do it scared. Refer to the sections “Scary, Scary, Scary” (page 12), “Defending Your Weakness” (page 16), “Fear Is Boring” (page 19), “The Fear You Need and the Fear You Don’t Need” (page 22), and “The Road Trip” (page 24) in Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert

Me Versus My Body

Eating leads me to feel like I’m at war with my body. I’m a picky eater. I tend to enjoy more junk food than healthy food. I also get tired of the same foods repeatedly. Therefore, it’s easier for me to find the variety I want in junk food. Also, junk food tends to be cheaper. Junk food ticks two of my three wants in food: Tasty and affordable out of tasty, affordable, and healthy. Healthy food ticks of healthy and some healthy food ticks off tasty. Even less healthy foods tick off healthy, tasty, and affordable. The affordable healthy food tends to not tick off tasty for me.

All this to say that often times when I eat, I end up with some sort of digestive problems after—most often seemingly unbearable stomach pains with the urge to number two…
Therefore, it feels like my mind and my body are at war with each other. I want junk food, not even all the time, but lately, even when having it once or twice (or maybe because I’ve been cutting down junk food), I end up with the terrible stomach pains and the bathroom urges—for example, after eating chili and cheese fries and drinking a cherry-vanilla Coke from Sonic, I “number two”’d three times and still felt uncomfortable instead of relieved. I would at least like to treat myself and/or let loose once or twice a week with fast food.

Then, I had a realization. I should not feel at war with my body. I should listen to it. I should respect it’s “opinions” for lack of a better term. Do you realize what our bodies do—their purpose? Our bodies live for us. Everything they do, they do for us! How nice, right???? I think it’s nice, and therefore, I think our bodies deserve respect. In fact, I think they deserve LOVE. It seems revolutionary. And I am only twenty-two, 5’3”, 110 lbs., and have had no children. So it probably seems stupid not to love my body. Appearance-wise, I do love my body—well, for the most part. I have some things I wish were different—bigger boobs, less cellulite, slightly visible abs, a little bit larger and/or solid of a butt, toned in more places, no acne, blonde facial hair (But can I keep my eyebrows dark?). Picky, picky, picky. Some of those complaints, I can change very non-invasively. Others, I prefer to learn to accept instead of getting surgery.

BUT the love for our bodies I’m talking about is on the inside--listening to the pain, changing things until our bodies feel good again. Have you ever had this happen to you: You know that you should exercise, but sitting down/lying down feel sooo good. Somehow, you get yourself up, AND YOU FEEL THE PAIN OR STIFFNESS LEAVING YOUR BODY? Even with walking leisurely, making laps in your yard (and scared you look insane to anyone who sees you…), you feel the pain lessening with every step you take. Sometimes, you forget how hot it is (even at 7:30 P.M. in South Louisiana in July) because being outside in fresh air and moving around and doing something you know is good for you and was hard to convince yourself to do FEELS THAT GOOD.

It feels good to take care of your body. The hardest part in my experience is starting. Depending on what it is, continuing is hard, too (*ahem*, studying—and I want to go back for my Master’s in January???), but for the most part—for me at least—once I start, I feel myself thinking, “This is what I was so bent out of shape over???”

Next time you feel pain, do your best to figure out what it is you can do to fix it.


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